What do you mean you don't know which servers to play on? White Eagle and White Eagle II! Located in Frankfurt, prolly some 400km from where you live, no more.
It is interesting what you are saying because neither me nor anyone I know in BF 3 ever complained about laggy gameplay. Surprisingly, DICE and EA must have found a way to enhance multigaming experience. Unless your ping is totally shitty, you should have no lags.
Are you sure it's lag? Like the AA2 lag, or rather stuttering?